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let's pretend

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[11 Jun 2007|10:22am]
today is the day.
im going to stop eating again.
i am absolutely disgustingly fat now
and i just cant take it anymore. :'(
i want to cry every time i look in the mirror.
this morning i got all ready to go to the gym.
then i took my shoes off and forgot about it
because im too fat to even go to the gym now.
so first its lose weight by food intake.
then. the gym comes in later to help out.
thats that. dont talk me out of it.

[13 May 2007|10:18pm]
=/ and thats all i have to say.
but things will get better i hope.

[07 Apr 2007|12:10am]
he doesn't know it.
but he's letting me fall out of love with him..
=/ :'( </3 and it sucks really bad.

[25 Mar 2007|07:13pm]
im so sick of having a crappy boyfriend.
:'( he doesnt get how hard it is on me.
maybe things will change.. soon.

[13 Mar 2007|07:43pm]
there are a couple things i want to do less of.
one is eating.
the other is calling my boyfriend.
maybe if i dont call him as often
he'll start to miss me.

[10 Mar 2007|02:56pm]
i guess i just broke up with jeff.
im crying pretty hard right now, obviously.
i mean, i know we will get back together.
i hope. i mean. i dont know. :'(
i just hate our relationship sometimes.
it really sucks when you are nervous calling your boyfriend, because you are always anticipating the fights, the arguments. :'( ughhh im so sick of it! i just want things to be good. hes always so mean to me and somehow its always my fault. i wish i didnt love him so much. then this wouldnt be so hard. :'(

i love him.

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